As we passed Stephanie's 1 year anniversary of leaving this earth, there are some things that we feel we need to express at this point. First, this year, as you can imagine, has been totally devistating. Every day is a struggle, every minute another memory of Stephanie.
We sometimes wonder where all of the tears can come from. We wonder how we will continue on in this state. We ask for help daily from God to give us strength to carry on, and to appreciate the little things in life again.
As you all have your trials in life, money issues, family disputes, relationship problems, car malfunctions, job losses, etc. please just remember that you DO have hope. Your situation will change, it WILL get better. You can look ahead and dream of what will be.
Well for us, we have hope, but it's hard to find, the kind of hope that is far, far away. The kind of hope that you can only see a glimpse of when you reach that special place when you pray.
We continue to ask for the Lord's help daily to ease some of our pain. But then a sight, a smell, a place brings those memories. They are beautiful memories but when you are alone, the "missing" takes the emotions the complete opposite direction and puts you in a tailspin of devestation again.
You all don't see what we see (hopefully). When we see a wedding, or a baby, or a young woman smiling, happy and healthy, we see a numbing pain! The cycle is viscious, heartbreaking and appears without end.
As you all continue on in your lives thinking, "I can't imagine", or "Thank God, it wasn't me", or if I step back from the situation I don't have to even think what it is like to be one of the Parivar family members. Please remember what it is like to be a human being, we all need comfort in our deepest pain.
Well, as our lives DO go on. Not only are we missing Stephanie, we are missing our friends that are hesitant to be apart of our lives again. People say, "I don't know what to say", or "I don't want to hurt you", or I can't image how you are feeling". I say to you, PLEASE JUST BE YOURSELF, that is what we so are searching for. In our state, we are more emotional, we notice the differences in our friends easily, but we don't want to be put in a bubble, a place where we are alone. That is the worst place for us to be, because then we truly feel that we have NO hope, we feel isolated and rejected by the people that we think of as friends.
I have a poem that I want to share that expresses simply what we need to give us HOPE.
THE GIFT OF SOMEONE WHO LISTENS
Those of us who have traveled a while Along this path called grief Need to stop and remember that mile, That first mile of no relief.
It wasn't the person with answers Who told us of ways to deal It wasn't the one who talked and talked That helped us start to heal.
We think of the friends who quietly sat And held our hands in theirs The ones who let us talk and talk And hugged away our tears.
We need to always remember That more than the words we speak, It's the gift of someone who listens That most of us desperately seek.
Nancy Myerholts The Compassionate Friends, Inc.
Also, please remember that many of these tears are tears of joy, tears of a happy memory, FEELINGS WE WANT TO FEEL. So as you are with us, and those tears start to fall, don't feel like you have hurt us but rather are helping us to remember a moment in a good way, even though it appears to be pain. When we are with our friends the tears represent the legacy of our fondest and most valued memories, our beautiful child, Stephanie Parivar, PLEASE SAY HER NAME!
As you all say, "I was thinking about Stephanie, and how she brought a smile to my face when she..........." is the greatest gift you can give us, her memory and how she touched another's life!
Thank you for continuing to be our friends and our comfort in our times of deepest need.
<3/ EMerALd Hudson (friend of Ashley)
I wish I would have known Stephanie Parivar - she was beautiful. But in a way i feel like i did know her. Through her amazing sister Ashley whose so strong inside that she asked me to sign her sisters memorial. I cant imagine how devasted life must be for the Parivar family, but thankful enough to know that Stephanie is in better hands now. From what I've heard about Stephanie she sounds amazing and i know if I could have had the chance to meet her in person than she'd be more than that. Losing a sister or anyone out of your family is the worst thing to happen. The saddest thing is that I think about what if it was my sister, I'd die without her. And i cant think about the pain behind her sisters smile, but i know its there. She hides it so well.I'm sorry that you lost your angel. Stay strong babe .. <33 R.I.P. Stephanie <3 LovE aLwaYs .. * eM * Close
Stephanie was truly an angel on Earth, but now she rests as an angel in heaven. Friendly she was to all, smiles she sent as well. She is in a better place where none of us could even imagine. Caring, sweet, sincere, smart, loving are only a few of the endless words to describe her. She was deeply in love with Charles and cared about her family and friends deeply. Striving to acheive her goals to go to college and work to make her OWN money made her happy. Actually, even small things made her happy. She has a LARGE spot in all of our hearts, and is deeply missed. I LOVE YOU SIS
They can use toys, baby items (clothes/mobils/crib items), or monetary donations.
You can call Glenda for a current "list" of what they need. (55% of the hospital admissions are under the age of 4). It is really nice because you can just drive up on a circular drive and drop off your donations! They were highly appreciative.
In memory of Stephanie's 1st, 2nd and 3rd year, on her Birthday, Tony and I have gone shopping and delivered many needed items to the hospital. We knew that is what Stephanie would want us to do, and we plan to continue our support of the Hospital.
CHILDREN'S ORGAN TRANSPLANT ASSOCIATION 2501 COTA Dr. Bloomington, IN 47403 (812) 366-2682 www.cota.org
Children's Organ Transplant Association is a national charity focused on raising funds for transplant-needy children who do not have adequate financial resources for their life-saving organ or tissue transplant.
Since 1986, they have raised in excess of $30,000,000 by assisting more than 700 transplant-needy persons, and have helped countless others become organ donors through their eduational efforts.
100% of ALL funds raised are used for transplant related expenses!